Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
