god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize