Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
where are my eyebrows?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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