Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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