It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.