dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.