I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
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Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
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Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.