You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.