I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already