He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
