how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
