It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
