I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
