yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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