i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
