every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I touched a dick in church today
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
