I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
wow bdsm is so cute
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
