I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out