dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?