Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk

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(845): Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk http://tfl.nu/am6s

Replies (40) Good night (5278) Bad night (1137)
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(404): View more from Georgia

You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.

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(404): You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense. http://tfl.nu/zmp3

Replies (12) Good night (5896) Bad night (698)
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(239): View more from Florida

I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking

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(239): I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking http://tfl.nu/yxe4

Replies (61) Good night (5861) Bad night (892)
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(281): View more from Texas

Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.

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(281): Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's. http://tfl.nu/ot6m

Replies (137) Good night (7055) Bad night (5598)
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(518): View more from New York

September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location

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(518): September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location http://tfl.nu/jdkq

Replies (16) Good night (9602) Bad night (1348)
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(906): View more from Michigan

he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor

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(906): he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor http://tfl.nu/agbs

Replies (4) Good night (3031) Bad night (995)
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(702): View more from Nevada

I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.

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(702): I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared. http://tfl.nu/11u7

Replies (4) Good night (3079) Bad night (1506)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.

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(443): Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now. http://tfl.nu/3e9p

Replies (6) Good night (2180) Bad night (736)
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(912): View more from Georgia

Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.

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(912): Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother. http://tfl.nu/sdoi

Replies (14) Good night (930) Bad night (3314)
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(661): View more from California

I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?

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(661): I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class? http://tfl.nu/dw55

Replies (2) Good night (1463) Bad night (612)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.

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(901): No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state. http://tfl.nu/kqwr

Replies (8) Good night (1265) Bad night (477)
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(705): View more from Ontario

I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things

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(705): I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things http://tfl.nu/ylud

Replies (4) Good night (723) Bad night (363)
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(740): View more from Ohio

I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.

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(740): I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas. http://tfl.nu/p3js

Replies (4) Good night (578) Bad night (315)
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(831): View more from California

just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.

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(831): just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal. http://tfl.nu/1l64

Replies (3) Good night (234) Bad night (340)
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(727): View more from Florida

Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins

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(727): Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins http://tfl.nu/qgcg

Replies (2) Good night (477) Bad night (194)

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