I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag