I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
