Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
