Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
