Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
