I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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