I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
