I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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