Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
