The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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