Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize