My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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