Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.