Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.