You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra