Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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