where does the pee come out of this thing
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
