I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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