Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
NoShamevember. You game?
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