Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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