Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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