I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
