BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
