remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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