I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
