Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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