those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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