And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
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I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
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I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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