the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
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I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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