it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
