I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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