My hand turned me down
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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