A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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