So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
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