Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
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never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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