So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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