Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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