Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
