ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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