It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i will never coherently bang her
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
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I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
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Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.