BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
