Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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