If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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