when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I stole a fireplace last night.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
