i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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