you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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